it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
