3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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