I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
