watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
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the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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