You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
