we made out on top of his cat.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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