the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
