Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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