I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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