Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
