i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just cropdusted the office
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I am naked and annoyed.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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