And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
