Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
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He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
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apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize