I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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