You're completely useless in the revolution.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
