There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
