we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
