FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I supernannyed him into submission
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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