At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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