Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
