i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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