this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
