You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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