Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
