My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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