my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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