Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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