There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
