Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
