the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize