our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
