There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i barfeds in our rink
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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