i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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