drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
i now understand why vodka
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
