"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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