I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
