I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
