I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
