i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
