no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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