She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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