The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize