You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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