Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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