we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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