if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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