that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
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Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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