Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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