Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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