some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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