I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
