This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
