I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
