In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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