dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
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i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
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Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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