oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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