she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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