we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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