He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
