His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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