fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
