Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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