:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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