; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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