Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
